Peg wrote about dealing with frustration and getting back to work. She asked her readers to write about how we overcome frustration and resume work. Then today Tien wrote about the roots of frustration. Both struck home with me.
I have been knitting the Princess shawl for over a year now and very close to the end line I came across the terrible designed corners. People say it will block out and all will be fine, the designer says its OK to fudge. I have not been able to overcome it. I wanted a perfect lovely Shetland shawl that I had knit with all my love for lace. It has been sitting in a bag for a couple of months now. I have to confess I have even thought of giving it away. I know its not that big of a deal, but for me it is. In my heart it was my master piece, the piece that would demonstrate, to me at least, that I am an experienced lace knitter and I can do it all. The pieces I have designed and people have loved did not count. I wanted this shawl. Tien has the perfect explanation of why this happened, in her blog she writes:
"One of the things they taught us is that clinging lies at the core of suffering. Clinging, or attaching to a specific result, causes pain when the result doesn’t happen. The degree of pain, of course, is related to the degree of clinging. The tighter you cling to a desire, the more pain you feel when the desire does not happen."
Well there it is, all out. There was/is way too much clinging on my part to this piece. Nothing else mattered, I was blinded with the end result I had in my mind and did not exist. Not even the prototype of the shawl is anywhere close to what I had in my mind. Maybe now that I know it is less than perfect I can move on and finish it. It is after all a shawl like any other I have knit and will knit. The perfect master piece might not exist and if it did, do I want to suffer through it? The definite answer is no, I want to enjoy the process and admire the final piece.
The best part of it all is that in the process I have learned several lessons. Knitting and life lessons alike.